Dear Bear,
Sometimes I get really sad. You know when I do. I grab you in my arms and just hug you. I burry my face in your fur and cry. You really give me a lot of comfort.
Sometimes I seem to work hard for nothing. I work all day, then come home and work some more. But I never seem to get ahead. It doesn’t help that I have to take care of everything by myself.
Take D.O.G. (Dear Only Guy) for example. You know that he has been sick for a few months. I worry that he will never get better. No matter what the Dr does, he doesn’t improve. He just never feels well, and the meds that they give him make him feel even worse. He is so bad, he never even wants to leave the house. Those rare days when he does go somewhere with me, he doesn’t last long. He needs to go home. I worry that our fun-days are over. I doubt he will ever even be able to go on vacation with me, even if he had the money to go with me.
I feel hopeless and helpless most times. I cry too often, while pretending to be happy and silly to those who don’t really know. But what else can I do? I really feel alone even though D.O.G. lives with me. We don’t really spend any “quality” time together. He sleeps, and plays on his computer. I just get so deep into my own work, as an escape that I have built up a wall. The harder I work, the less I feel the pain of the situation. I know he loves me, I don’t question that. But we just never seem to have fun. We rarely laugh anymore. We can’t afford to go anywhere because I have all I can do just to pay bills, and he has no income to help me.. And even if I could afford it, he just seems to be permanently ill so he can’t
do the things we want to do together.
Sometimes it is all so hopeless. I need to go away on vacation. I thought of going alone. At least that would give me something to look forward to. It is the one thing I really look forward to every year. But if I were to go…I would feel guilty, and worry about D.O.G. What do you think I should do? Should I go away for 2 weeks, get recharged? Maybe you would like to come with me? How does Paris sound?
